Lots had happened over the course of the last few months. Along with the many happenings, many different feelings were encountered as well. Sometimes, I wish to be able to have control over my own feelings so that I can choose to feel or not feel a certain way or another. I reckon this is one of the many ways I defend my pain by playing avoidance. I know it hurts to be forced to be placed in situations that are not desirable, therefore my gut feeling would always invite me to run away. Anyway, running away I have been...I don't know if it had done me any good or made things worse. Anyway, as I have been feeling like a bitch lately, let me leave you with a prominent picture in my head...
You are standing outside braving yourself through the storm and wild winds, while I sit effortlessly in a cosy home with a lit up fireplace with lots of warmth and love.
Guilt is an understatement, I don't really know how exactly to describe my feelings, I don't think I will even know how to, neither would I be able to keep running away. I do feel vulnerable, I feel fragile, I don't feel good. I guess to every action there is consequences.
Suck it all up, and move it all on...
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