The Attempted Breakup

Friday, the 13th, I attempted a breakup with my long term boyfriend of 5 years. It was not easy, but I had to do it. I had too much feelings and emotions in me that I kept thinking about what happiness means for other people. But ultimately, does my happiness matter? (Yes it does!) Being with someone who provides me with everything every girl wanted in a relationship but the element of fun makes the whole relationship very stale and stagnant. I sometimes wonder if I can just "settle" with someone less fun but able to provide security and love. I asked myself again and again. Initially, I couldn't careless if my happiness was sacrificed for being in a stable relationship. I rationalized every opportunity possible highlighting the pros of a stable versus fun-loving relationship. In the end am I truly happy in this current relationship? I guess I know the answer...what would I do? I've finally dug up a shit-load of courage to ring that number and to convey my message. The response was, "what gives you the right to call off the relationship when a relationship involves two people?" Nothing was finalised...and the question again, "does my happiness matter?" (Really, I don't know...)