Connection With The Dead?

As the Buddhists observe All Souls Day this week, I wonder if we could ever make a connection with those who have passed on?

My paternal grandpa passed on while I was in college say about 7-8 years ago. I remembered him as being very jovial, always happy to see me, and a very warm hearted man. Yet, during his final few weeks, I remembered chucking my princessy-tantrum and refused to go to the hospital for visits, thinking that he will recover and that he will return home. At 5am one morning, we received a telephone call from the hospital advising us of my grandpa's passing, I remembered it was not easy for me. I was in denial and didn't want to accept the fact, at least for a while. My grandpa was cremated and the person at the cremation parlour told the family that my grandpa's ashes were very "white", which apparently indicated he was a good person, who had done many good deeds while alive. His ashes were scattered into deep sea, as we farewell him in celebration of his life. Anyway, that was quite a few years ago now. Although we had the typical ceremony and all for his wake and funeral, and knowing for a fact that he is no longer here with us, I have never really felt his absence. I don't know how this work, but I know all our Cheong ancestors' souls were laid to rest in this temple somewhere in PJ. We would go and "visit" my grandpa (and all the other late Cheongs) at the temple at least once a year. See, funny thing is that I don't see it as visiting his soul or paying respect or commemorating his life or whatever you'd think of when performing rituals as such.

I've always felt that my grandpa's still here. I can still remember the way he'd smile at me, the way he'd talk to me, the way he'd always treated me as someone important. I won't say I miss him, because reality is that I was never really that close to him. But we still did the occasional grandpa-grandchild thing like, we went out for lunch etc. I think I miss his company, because he had always spoken to me like I was a little child, and I remembered I'd respond like I had never gwown up. Anyway, back to my point, as I haven't been feeling my best lately, I have been wondering if I were to visit grandpa and sat there long enough, will I be able to engage in a conversation with him, would he respond? Will I be able to make a connection with him? Will I be able to feel him? Will he be able to tell me what do to? I don't know what happens after death. Reincarnation? Soul floating around? Heaven? I don't know...